Journaling Using Sacred Figures

We learn attachment in our youngest years. It follows us through all of our relationships, often creating challenges.

However, we can re-learn healthy attachment as adults. Once we do, we are able to move forward in our relationships. We can embrace safety and security.

Journaling is one key tool that we can use in our reconnection journey. We can bring forth an ideal attachment figure in those pages. Then we can communicate with that figure to work through attachment issues.

1. Create the Perfect Attachment Figure

The first step is to imagine the perfect attachment figure. Picture yourself as a young child. Then conjure up a being - real or imaginary - who embodies all aspects of ideal nurturing.

This being should incorporate the three sacred figures:

  • The Nurturer (or the perfect "mother" figure)
  • The Protector (the being who will keep you safe at all costs)
  • The Sage (who brings you inner wisdom in all situations)

2. Write Your Journal as a Letter to This Sacred Figure

When you write in your journal, address it as though it is a letter. Imagine that you are writing to your perfect attachment figure. This person loves you unconditionally, understands you completely, and will accept all things about you.

Therefore, you can share every single thing in this letter. There is no reason to fear the response because it will be exactly the loving response that you need.

You might write down a specific problem in the journal. Alternatively, you might need to just write out myriad feelings. You might not be clear at first. That is okay. Clarity will come. Write down everything that you need to share.

3. Write a Response from the Attachment Figure

Now, imagine that you are that you are the perfect attachment figure that you conjured up. Respond to your journal entry in writing, communicating from that all-knowing, all-loving point of view.

Some of the things that you want to be sure to communicate include:

  • I can see you. I can hear you.
  • You have wounds, but I can treat them tenderly.
  • I am very glad to be with you at this moment.
  • You are safe.
  • There is something that I can do for you.
  • You are worthy. You are enough. In fact, you are more than enough.

Eye Your Own Response Critically

Of course, we all learned attachment from fallible human beings. Therefore, we make mistakes in our responses. Read through this journal response with a critical eye. Strike any comments, suggestions, or implications that aren't entirely loving. Ask yourself:

  • Would a perfect nurturer really say this?
  • How does this response serve to protect me?
  • When I look deep in my all-knowing soul, what answer do I find?

4. Respond and Repeat

Chances are that you are going to have plenty of responses to your ideal attachment figure. After all, as much as you want to trust them, you haven't yet learned how. Therefore, your old relationship patterns will re-surface, even in this journaling process.

For example, let's say that you re-read the response that you wrote in part three. Your perfect attachment figure has said, "there is something that I can do for you." However, your initial response is, "yeah, right, nobody can do anything to help me. I am all on my own."

That is a normal response from someone with insecure attachment. In order to learn healthy attachment, you need to practice it. So, you should go ahead and write this response down in your journal. Let that perfect attachment figure know everything about how you don't believe them.

Then, when it is all out, start again with step three. Embody the perfect attachment figure. Respond lovingly and compassionately to yourself. Keep showing your inner self what healthy attachment looks like. Eventually, it will become second nature.

Journaling is most useful when used in combination with EMDR and other therapy techniques. Contact me to learn more about how I can help you.